Good day. Let me introduce myself. My name is Atticus and I am a solid red English cocker spaniel in the prime of my life. Before we go any further, I must make the distinction between the English and the cocker spaniels that everyone has seen (Americans), as I would be mortified if you mistook me for one of those lesser, ordinary spaniels.
We English have long, regal noses, as opposed to those little stubby up-turn noses of the Americans, and our bodies are longer, leaner and taller. We are also smarter, happier, mellower & less in-bred. And that all adds up to Superior, in my book! English cocker spaniels have been described as “the merriest of breeds”, which I think suits me quite well.
I live a bit of a double life. I’m quite intelligent and curious, with a wide array of interests in diverse subjects like politics, literature, philosophy, the stock market and religion, to name a few, but I’m a dog. This is where things get tricky & a bit complicated for me. Humans don’t understand that my mind is as sharp as the best & brightest of their breed, and since I am not able to verbally articulate my thoughts, it’s best that humans view me as an ordinary canine; dog-dumb.
Humans just love the silly playfulness and unaware nature of dogs, so I’ve found it’s best to play into that stereotype. And I’m very good at it, especially since my mind unconsciously sends me to dog-dumb quite often. It feels good to be in that headspace sometimes; not a care in the world.
So, as I wake this morning, my two very distinct poles are fighting for domination: half of me is screaming “ Wake up mama!! It’s a new day!”, while my more evolved self thinks, “maybe I’ll wait a few minutes to wake her so I can enjoy a little quiet time and check out the Bloomberg report as the markets open”. Check my stock picks or kiss mama awake.... sloppy kisses on mama’s face wins this morning.
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